blogging into the void

it's a story my folks tell gleefully: when i started kindergarten, i would come home from school, pull blank sheets of paper from the drawer in our living room end table, and start writing out my day. sometimes, i write it out like a picture book: certain snapshots of the day crudely illustrated by my five-year-old hand with the text below it across multiple sheets of paper. sometimes, i'd just write it out, then crumble it into a ball to shoot into the trash can once i was done. sometimes, i'd make up something like a wizard came into the classroom and stole everyone's left shoe, only to go back into the mundane routine of the kindergarten curriculum.

my parents loved it—their five-year-old daughter skipping into the house and telling them a story that may or may not be true? clearly this girl was meant to write the next great american novel!

of course, this was america in the 90s, so my parents still believed in the american dream where i would grow up and be able to be a writer and still be able to afford to live. as we moved into the 2000s, it became clear that i'd have to prepare for a real job with stability. so i got a bachelor's in communications, lmao.

every job i've had post-graduation contained writing in some form or another. it wasn't the main job requirement, but it was still needed. and while i've been fine writing a blog post about a celebrity or an ad for a product, i found myself in a similar routine as i did after kindergarten. i'd find a sheet of paper or a designated notebook or the notes app on my phone and just write. sometimes it's a scene for a fanfiction (don't judge me) or it's a list of books to check out for a theme or it's Bible verses that i think sound metal as fuck even though i haven't gone to mass since i was in high school. i still felt the need to write or the need to remember something for a story later on.

today, i wrote out a little blog post for my job's internal pet group. i shared photos of my two cats and wrote a little background on each of them. i edited my draft about 500 times before publishing it and even though only my coworkers will see it, it still filled me with a joy that i haven't really felt in the last couple years.

i started planning this kallax of curiosities in the fall as a way to 1) get better at writing
2) actually interact with all the media i've hoarded over the years (watch the movies, read the books, play the video games, etc)
3) idk, keep my brain engaged as i feel myself get dumber with every passing day that i just doomscroll?

but today, i'm just writing to write and fill my cup. hopefully i will actually write posts about the books and the movies and the video games. or maybe i'll write about something else. today i'm just writing into the void and i'm fine with it if the void doesn't do anything back